The Bigger Picture

I remember telling myself that this is going to be the best two years of my stay in Leyte. Well, it has just begun. I pictured having the most fun, building the best relationships and getting really good grades. But God’s way of making it the best is far greater than I imagined.

I’m pretty sure I did not get really good grades this semester. After I failed in the midterm exam of our major subject, I got discouraged, I lost confidence and I became lazy and unexcited and fearful. Thankfully, I passed my major subject. My grade is not very impressive but, hey, I passed. Praise God! I actually thought I wasn’t going to make it. I even feared going through college for six years. Now, I there is new hope that I won’t.

Tin2x, a YFC sister, was right when she told me that maybe the reason I’m not getting really good grades is that I haven’t really learned everything yet and that maybe the reason I fear failing is that I haven’t forgiven myself for my previous failure yet. What exactly is it that I need to learn?

More than just the lessons in the subjects that I took, this semester has taught me a lot. I experienced being at the lowest and no one can relate better with those having a hard time with their studies than one who actually had some difficulties herself. So, I guess, next time, when I won’t be at the bottom anymore, this experience should remind me that I may have friends who need me and whom I can’t neglect just because I am content with my performance.

Some might disagree but I believe it could happen sometimes that no matter how much effort you exerted (not that I gave my all because, honestly, I was being lazy for most of the semester) and no matter how confident you are (not that I ever was) when you took the exam, you still may not be able to ace nor pass it. It’s a very humbling experience, really. It’s one of those times when you would really get down on your knees and ask that God’s will be done and that you be blessed with a humble heart to accept it. And when it doesn’t happen to you, it could happen to your friend(s), so, be sensitive.

Now, I have gained a new way of looking at failure and a new attitude towards my studies. I have learned how not to take failure against anyone – not by being easily irritated by my friends, not by questioning God, not even losing self-confidence. I never would have learned such had I completely given up and just drifted away. I’m glad I decided to continue fighting until the end of the semester. Whatever you’re going through right now, remember that it is just a piece of a puzzle. In the end, it all fits together. Those little things that brought me down this semester could be just a preparation for more challenges.

There will be greater challenges for sure. But I know that when I come face to face with those challenges, I will always have friends like Tin2x to help me see the bigger picture and I always have God to make it the best picture ever.

I thank God for another wonderful episode of my life. I thank GPP for another semester of friendship. Happy sem break everyone!