Boxed

Who created this box?

Is it You, Lord, who confined me?

I doubt it, though.

‘Coz I know You created the world for me and the rest of humanity.

Then, why do I feel trapped?

Beyond these corners, barely any one could hear my voice.

The walls contain it.

It’s starting to become internal noise.

I dance to my own music.

I cry over my own drama.

I laugh at my own joke.

I lament over my own sorrow.

I rejoice over my own happiness.

I deal with my own inferiority.

I glory over my own achievement.

I struggle with my own insecurity.

Such selfishness it is.

Now and then I thought I caught a glimpse of what’s out there.

But then some things happen and I cower and once again find myself in here.

I want to know what it is like to be in the open and be elsewhere.

In here, it’s secure but lonely.

It’s quiet but deafening.

It’s huge but empty.

I could scream with all my strength, but I’d only hear the echo of my own voice.

Some may hear it but there’s so much more than my droned words.

I feel like I want people to hear me but I don’t even know what I want to say.

I want to understand other people but I can’t even understand myself.

Which leads me to wonder: am I the only one who’s trapped?

Or do we all hide in our own little box?

Never say NO

I was supposed to spend yesterday afternoon and evening studying but I was invited to attend the Household of Leyte and I thought “why not?” I can just study at night. What I didn’t know was that it was an overnight activity. I’m glad I came though.

For me, it was God’s way of making me realize what was wrong with the way I run my life. It was because I run my life. I realized that even though I prayed that God’s will be done and that He use me to be His instrument, I already have a plan of my own. A plan which I think would help me achieve my goals and I usually stick to it. 

Now I know that God wants me to do what I have to do but never say NO to Him. 

That’s what’s going to make me happy. The same goes for you. If you’re a student, then study. If you have to work, then work. But when God calls, never say NO. Never mind your disrupted schedule. He’ll take care of it Himself. Just have faith and seek for God’s peace.

I used to smile broadly (especially when I’m alone) just thinking of the many blessings I received. Then, I lost that habit. I tried going back to that self but it’s been a struggle. And I’ve been feeling kind of dry. I could hardly recognize the new blessings I’ve been receiving. Perhaps, it’s because I was thinking that God has not granted me the achievement of my goals yet. I didn’t realize I was ignoring God’s plan.

This morning, I thought about how God’s work in my life is so amazing. I was smiling to myself while holding back my tears. Crazy, am I not? I’m so back.

Never Diet Again

I'd like to share with you this short article from the book Through the Night with God.

He that putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made fat. -Proverbs 28:25 KJV

It's you against all those fattening desserts: pies, cookies, cakes, candy. You have declared war on fat. You've carefully read food labels, measured portions, cut out the fatty foods from your diet and exercised regularly. But did you know there's an easier way to stay healthy and fit, one that doesn't require you to lose weight to accomplish your goals? In fact, God wants all His children to be FAT - spiritually speaking.

Here's how to gain spiritual weight:

F - Be faithful to do all that God tells you to do.

A - Be available for His use.

T - Be teachable. 

God is calling you to be a faithful follower, one who will hold on to Him when life's problems are pressing in. You probably would rather run and hide. But what if God is transforming you into a stronger person through those trials? Would you still want to run? The stay-slim strategies of a physical diet require discipline, and the same is true in our spiritual walk with God.

Are you available for God's use? You may have given up time, money, family and friends for Christ. Still, God wants you to give Him the things hidden deep within your heart - disappointments, hurts and failings.

Are you hiding behind a wall of unforgiveness? Let go of past hurts and allow God to heal you. This will free you to help others. Replace old habits with good ones by seeking God's plan for your life.

Finally, be teachable. In 2 Timothy 2:15, we are reminded to: Study to shew thyself approved unto God (KJV). Don't skimp on your daily nourishment from the Bible. Feed your spirit on God's Word every day and you won't feel spiritually hungry or deprived. When you end each day with a devotion and Scripture, somehow it dissolves all your problems and worries. So before you turn out the light, get FAT with God!

***

I just thought many of us needed that. It's just that it's sem break and there isn't much to do other than watch your favorite movies and shows and read books and browse your favorite blogs and websites and eat your favorite foods -- there is just lots of food at home. Talk about a sedentary lifestyle. Becoming fat is now a concern of many of us thanks to Hollywood and models and whoever made being slim the standard of being good-looking. Haha, frustration. But seriously, I didn't even care about how I look until I entered college, started gaining weight and met people who seem to care about nothing but their figure.

Then again, standardizing size could be a window for us to see ourselves clearly. How disciplined are we to eat just the right amount of food AND eat only the right food (that means NO JUNK FOOD)? How determined are we to stay fit and healthy? How hard-working are we to burn all those unnecessary fats? 

See, even if we tell ourselves that our physical appearance won't even matter to people who would truly love us, it tells more of our attitude. People who truly love us may turn a blind eye on our attitude but how is your self-image? Attitude counts. The right attitude will be of great help in achieving the body that is just right for us. 

The first time I read the article above, I was still a skinny kid (whoa, must have been a millennium ago) and that was just it - an article I've read. Now that I'm not skinny anymore, I became one of those figure-conscious insecure people. But I realized there's a more important weight that I should be paying attention to and that's spiritual weight. Be FAT for God.

150-day challenge

Faith Forward

FAITH

starts with you and ends with you.

FAITH

starts with you and ends with somebody else.

-Ate Nikki

For years, CFC – Youth for Christ (YFC) has been molding the youth to become more faithful. This year, we are encouraged to put that faith into action and take advantage of the passion and boldness of our young hearts.

"It's so easy to say 'God bless' but have you been a blessing to the other person?" -Ate Nikki

We are called to be fearless in proclaiming our faith.

To not fear rejection and reach out and continue being good.

To not be afraid of defying the standards of being cool by living a 100% free lifestyle and stand for what we believe in.

To not be afraid of being “corny” and vulnerable to our household members by sharing with them our everyday joys and sorrows.

To not be afraid of actually caring for people.

To not be afraid of failure.

“We are called to be fearless because God is fearless. And God is in us.” – Kuya Eric

Faith Forward is the theme of the Regional Youth Conference (RYC) 2012. One thousand two hundred and sixty six young people gathered in Bayugan City for the Northeastern Mindanao RYC. In other parts of the country, roughly the same numbers of young people gather for the same event. Magpapahuli ka pa ba? Actually, yeah it just ended yesterday. But it’s not yet too late. There’s something bigger in the summer of 2013 – International Leaders’ Conference (ILC) Manila. Be there. Start saving.

Magastos ba ‘ka mo? Let me tell you a story. This happened on Facebook. There was this brother or sister who posted “The best things in life are free… Pero ang RYC hindi free.” Kuya Eric, the speaker for the third session, just laughed at it.

Sabi niya pwede namang free yung mga conferences. We can do it on the side of the road or in any venue which can be used freely. The speaker can just step on a rock where he can be seen by everybody. We can still reach out and conduct the social action like we did last weekend. However, we won’t enjoy the food that Jollibee is serving us. We won’t have IDs and conference kits to be part of our YFC collection. We can’t have Ablaze T-shirts. Pwede talaga siya free and it would still be a complete conference pero “showbiz” tayo, eh. Sosyal pa.

“Showbiz” tayo because we cannot show the world how great God is when we settle for mediocrity. We want the best in proclaiming God’s greatness. By spending on these conferences, we can show the world that financial difficulties cannot stop us to experience an all-out worship to God. We can show the world that there is a better way of spending our sem break and our money. That’s being “showbiz”.

Instead of saving up for that newest gadget which you’ve always wanted but would sooner or later be obsolete when developers come up with a new model, save up for YFC conferences where you can experience real joy of worshipping the Lord; where you can meet new friends who share the same passion as you; where you would want to change to live a better life for God. The joy it brings would last longer than does a new gadget.

And even when we don’t get that newest gadget, we are still sosyal. We are social beings! We can’t share God’s love when we isolate ourselves. Reach out. That’s something I need to work on. I’m not anti-social, I’m just shy. Have you ever thought that being shy could be an indication of fearing rejection? ‘Coz I thought of it just now. I’ve read that being shy indicates that one fears being embarrassed. But I am called to be fearless, am I not? So I should be friendlier.

During the RYC, I was reminded and reassured of God’s great love. Yung feeling na just a few moments ago you could remember all your sins and feel all this unworthiness but when you come before the presence of the Lord, you would suddenly feel the need to let all of it go and just continue moving forward and never give up in striving to live a life that would please our King. The RYC is a fresh start.  How we continue the momentum after it would be a challenge.

“Every day is a temptation.”

“Temptation is not a sin unless entertained.”

I had a great weekend. I got the sem break I needed. Ikaw, how did you spend your sem break?

The Bigger Picture

I remember telling myself that this is going to be the best two years of my stay in Leyte. Well, it has just begun. I pictured having the most fun, building the best relationships and getting really good grades. But God’s way of making it the best is far greater than I imagined.

I’m pretty sure I did not get really good grades this semester. After I failed in the midterm exam of our major subject, I got discouraged, I lost confidence and I became lazy and unexcited and fearful. Thankfully, I passed my major subject. My grade is not very impressive but, hey, I passed. Praise God! I actually thought I wasn’t going to make it. I even feared going through college for six years. Now, I there is new hope that I won’t.

Tin2x, a YFC sister, was right when she told me that maybe the reason I’m not getting really good grades is that I haven’t really learned everything yet and that maybe the reason I fear failing is that I haven’t forgiven myself for my previous failure yet. What exactly is it that I need to learn?

More than just the lessons in the subjects that I took, this semester has taught me a lot. I experienced being at the lowest and no one can relate better with those having a hard time with their studies than one who actually had some difficulties herself. So, I guess, next time, when I won’t be at the bottom anymore, this experience should remind me that I may have friends who need me and whom I can’t neglect just because I am content with my performance.

Some might disagree but I believe it could happen sometimes that no matter how much effort you exerted (not that I gave my all because, honestly, I was being lazy for most of the semester) and no matter how confident you are (not that I ever was) when you took the exam, you still may not be able to ace nor pass it. It’s a very humbling experience, really. It’s one of those times when you would really get down on your knees and ask that God’s will be done and that you be blessed with a humble heart to accept it. And when it doesn’t happen to you, it could happen to your friend(s), so, be sensitive.

Now, I have gained a new way of looking at failure and a new attitude towards my studies. I have learned how not to take failure against anyone – not by being easily irritated by my friends, not by questioning God, not even losing self-confidence. I never would have learned such had I completely given up and just drifted away. I’m glad I decided to continue fighting until the end of the semester. Whatever you’re going through right now, remember that it is just a piece of a puzzle. In the end, it all fits together. Those little things that brought me down this semester could be just a preparation for more challenges.

There will be greater challenges for sure. But I know that when I come face to face with those challenges, I will always have friends like Tin2x to help me see the bigger picture and I always have God to make it the best picture ever.

I thank God for another wonderful episode of my life. I thank GPP for another semester of friendship. Happy sem break everyone!

SOLVE

In doing Accounting problems...

S  strengthen your foundation
O   overcome panic
L    love what you do
V    value time and details
E    expose yourself to more problems